GIVE ME A BEAR ANY DAY

It is downright dangerous being around people these days. Compared to some people bears are very sociable folks.
I was in a hardware store the other day looking for a left handed whatsit to fix my gallyrimple and as I walked down an isle I sopped and moved aside to allow this gent to pass. And pass he did. He bulled into me, shoved me aside and half raised his cane as if to hit me as he exclaimed, "Git the hell out of my way you, go on, git!"
My first reaction was surprise, after all, he darned near knocked me down, then my surprise turned to alarm as I noticed that he was brandishing a heavy wooden walking stick!. I mean, hey, I was there to get a farfanoodle for my glammersnit not to have some rock troll club me with his shelaliegh!
Now, as you probably know I am of a somewhat sensitive and docile nature, but about the time I saw that cane lift menacingly over my noggin I reached for a three foot long piece of steel pipe that resided conveniently on a nearby rack. Woe is me, I wasn't able to utilize said steel pipe for its intended purpose because the gentleman hustled past without smiting me and as he went he was mumbling incoherent somethings about my ancestry, some of which certainly surprised me because he obviously had information about my paternal stock that I was unaware of.
In all of my years following and photographing bears I have been bluff charged, trampled, cussed at, and "run" over and threatened by them but then one might say that is what one would expect from bears. (I wanted to say 'ran' over but my wife said it should be 'run' over, but then what does she know, she wasn't there when the damned thing RAN over me! People!)
After my encounter with Mr. Knee Anderthal in the hardware store a Japanese gent walked up to me and with great concern in his voice asked, "You O.K.?" I answered to the affirmative to which he shook his head and said, "That man clazy!" I certainly had to agree with him, that man was definitely "clazy.".
Yep, you can give me a bear any day.